FORT-BUILDING THERAPY

Posted on May 14, 2012 by

So where have I been for the past three weeks? The month of April went by in a blur as I had to walk my leaders through an excruciatingly difficult situation. What’s interesting about that experience is that it reminded me that Paul’s letters to churches and leaders were not just nice theology, but some very practical advice. Thank you, Paul. What else did I notice throughout the process?

The ‘noise’ of my thoughts, and other people’s advice, with a splash of panic thrown in made it very difficult to hear clearly from God.

When you need wisdom the most, it seems so hard to find or pin down. Although I’m not so sure that’s the case, either. Part of me thinks it is simply some fear and trepidation with having to make difficult decisions.

Difficult times are a reminder that anyone can lead when things are going smoothly; it’s when things are hard that a leader is needed most.

There are moments in these times when you feel all alone, and I think much of that ‘feeling’ comes from wishing that someone else could make the decision.

Difficult times are exhausting…and that’s why I took a vacation.

I could think of a million and one reasons why the church needed me (it’s an ego booster), but in reality, my mind and soul needed me more…I needed to be a pastor to me, and look after myself…and so I did.

I vacated my post.

I spent the middle part of my week doing some never-ending yard work…but ‘book-ended’ my week feeling like a kid.

Last year, April and I purchased a rickety old trailer (well, ‘purchased’ is debatable when you consider we paid a dollar for it). We’ve rented a space for the season in a campground. This past week I spent time opening it up, doing some little repairs and making it our little retreat.

It felt good and fun at the same time. In fact it reminded me of when I was a boy and my friends and I built a fort for us to call our own and to escape and pretend. It was built of boards, odd pieces of wood found at our homes or in the bush. We would use some old nails and anything else we could find to hold it together. We told no one about it and made it ours.

This trailer isn’t much to look at. It’s old, and has seen better days, but there’s something about fixing it up, using boards, odds and ends, and slowly making it my little ‘fort’…a place where I can squirrel away and pretend or dream, or simply a place for April and me to unwind and just ‘hang’.

Our plan is if we like doing the ‘trailer’ thing, then we’ll buy a ‘real’ one that is in much better condition and fit in with our neighbours. The only thing is, I’m not so sure which is the ‘real’ deal. As I drive around my neighbourhood, I see house after house where mom & dad have bought their children a pre-packaged ‘fort’ from their local Sears store. It’s ‘nice’ and perfectly ‘put together’…and very two-dimensional. There’s no imagination, no day dreaming, no 10 year old ingenuity…it’s very safe and really dull.

Maybe I’m the only one in the trailer park with the ‘real deal’!

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CAN I ASK A QUESTION?

Posted on April 9, 2012 by

So I have this dilemma that I’m trying to work through, and I’m hoping that somebody out there can give me a bit of insight. A couple of weeks back I preached a message on being with Jesus, contemplating his last days as he was preparing to go to the cross. Naturally, a topic such as this leads to having an intimate relationship with Jesus, linking it to the intimate relationship Jesus had with his Father.

Now because I had a great Dad, I have no problem using examples from my boyhood of our times together…and it is so easy to transition right into my close relationship that I have with Jesus. On that Sunday I pointed out that Jesus actually calls us friends, and desires a relationship with us similar to what he has with his Father.  I then gave everyone a handout that gave step by step instructions on how to have those ‘contemplative’ moments with Jesus for four days during Holy Week.

So far so good.

I then walked everyone through a sample of what a contemplative time could look like. As I looked out over the auditorium, it was clear that people were encountering the ‘Father’s love’ for them. Perfect.

The service was slowly brought to a close. People were gathering their things up, others we’re chatting with their neighbours, and then there were others who were still engaged in prayer. And then it happened. A person came up to me with bewilderment and questions written all over their face. They shared with me that they have a really hard time with talking about God as their Father. They didn’t have that type of relationship with their dad as I did with mine. In fact, their dad abused them. As I listened to them explain the pain they experienced as a child, I couldn’t help but wondering how many others that morning had the same difficulty with me referencing God as ‘Father’. I prayed for them that they would experience God’s love this week. They left with some hope. I left with many questions.

We only get one father in this life, and if that father is a ‘piece of work’, then referencing God as ‘father’ probably isn’t a good thing. Or is it?

I’ve been thinking about this since that Sunday. If the Bible referenced God as ‘mother’, my perception of God (and maybe my relationship) would be different. I had a good mother, but she wasn’t like my father. There are a couple of ‘issues’ that I have had to deal with as an adult, and still have to work out in my more insecure moments.

So I put this question to my home group. One of them said that they couldn’t relate to God as ‘father’ because of their experience with their own dad. They suggested I could use ‘teacher’ because probably everyone has experienced a good teacher. But we don’t get to choose our ‘dad’ – what we get is what we get. And some of us are not that lucky.

I’ve wondered if I should not use any comparison of God’s love towards us? But the Bible does. What about if the only good example we have is an uncle, can people see God as their ‘uncle’?  Maybe, but at the same time, I want to be faithful to Scripture.  The last thing I want to do is stir up ‘bad memories’ or painful emotions in someone. More than anything, I want people to encounter the God who loves them with a pure love, like no one else can.

I’ve also wondered if maybe I should take the opposite approach – that God demonstrates what a true ‘father’s love’ looks like, not what our earthly father’s love looks like. But at the same time, I don’t want to put a ‘heavy’ on dads and make then feel like complete losers that don’t and never will measure up.

Any suggestions out there?

Posted in Questions, Theology Rethink | Tagged , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Be Yourself – Everyone Else is Taken

Posted on March 28, 2012 by

Do you ever wake up and feel like ‘the world’ hasn’t been completely honest with you? I do. I’ve been having ‘one of those days’ a lot in the last week or two. It has to do with who I am and what I can do and cannot do.

As a child I remember my Mom telling me that I can do anything I want to do, if only I will put my mind to it. I remember my public school teachers telling me something similar to that, as well as some older adults that influenced my life. I know what their intention was behind this phrase – “Believe in yourself. Don’t limit yourself, but instead, dream.”

They were right.

Sort of. 

Time and time again I have discovered throughout my life that there are things I do not do well. I do ‘okay’, but the subject matter or the activity doesn’t grab me. It does not hold my interest or bring me life when I engage in the activity. Try as I might, it’s just not there. There are other times when I will throw myself into an activity or attempt at trying to wrap my head around a particular subject, and I simply cannot do it. Not that I don’t want to. I simply cannot do it – either wrap my head around it, or literally do not have the capability to pull it off. And then…there are those times (like all of us) when we try something and go, “I – LOVED – DOING – THAT!” It doesn’t matter whether it’s hard, it just brings so much life and it honestly feels like a ‘good hard’.

A couple of weeks back I was having this conversation with God and with myself (which can be a really scary thing to engage in as I can end up confusing the conversations I have with myself as being ‘God’s voice’.). But what I heard him say, was right out of Romans 12 where Paul talks about offering our bodies as a living sacrifice. I heard him say that the only thing I can offer is ‘Scott’. In fact, that’s the only living sacrifice that I can offer him.

I cannot offer anyone else, because that is not ‘my sacrifice’, and since it is not mine, I have no business in expecting God to accept it. As I continued to read on, Paul gives this warning: “Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us.” Got it!! Be honest in your evaluation of yourself, Scott.

Paul then goes on and basically says that once you have found that ‘thing’ that brings you life, then do that to the best of your ability. Got it!! Find what you do and then focus your energy on that and bring your A game to the table.

I think I’m figuring out part of what Jesus is inviting me to when he says, “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

“Free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty, I’m free at last!”

Posted in Following Well, Leadership, Right Thinking, What Really Counts | Tagged , , , , | 3 Comments

Out of the Mouth of Babes…

Posted on March 11, 2012 by

Last week my Vineyard family surprised me in a big way by loving on me ‘Just Because’ (see last week’s post which explains what ‘just because’ is). I blown away just cuz they did it. Fabulously surprised and proud to see my son Zac and one of my daughters Autumn stand up and honour me in such a way that defies description. Very proud of my wife, April for the words she said and the support she has given to me over the years. Humbled at the amazing work that Donna, my passionate Pastoral Assistant, went to, to pull this off. I didn’t have a clue that it was going to happen, and she had been working on it for about a month!

I received many cards and encouraging notes…people simply loving on me. There are so many I could mention, however, there is one that stands out to me that I would really like to share with you. It’s from a young boy named Josh. Because he is not old enough to express himself using words, he drew a picture for me. His mom asked him what it meant and so he explained it to her. Knowing that I should probably know the meaning behind the picture, she asked him to describe again what the picture means, and while he explained it, she wrote it down.

Here it is…

Jesus, may I always remember that you gave me that little push, so I could push others.

Amen

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Stunned, Shocked, Surprised…and Speechless!

Posted on March 5, 2012 by

This past February, two significant events occurred: one happened in our church, and the second occurred in my life. In our church we have this tradition we do every February called Just Because. It’s all about our Vineyard family loving on our Vineyard family…tangibly loving one another. It all started with our late Assistant Pastor, Rob Hall. Rob had a way about him where he just loved to do things spontaneously…and this was one of those things.

So for three or four weeks in February we take a glass vase or jar, place it on a table which is in the middle of our centre aisle, and ask folks to throw change or bills in…whatever they have on them. It’s not planned…ya just give…just because. At the end of the month we take all the cash and buy various gifts – some big and then some just to say ‘we love you, just because’. On either the last Sunday of February or the first one in March, we surprise people with the gifts throughout our service. It’s fun and a great encourager for those receiving. This Sunday, we did that and had a blast!

On February 5, it was my 10th anniversary as a pastor. Ten years when I walked away from a career I loved and into my calling. January and February have been tough months for me emotionally. I’m not really sure why my emotions have been all over the map, but they have been. My lows have been very low. I’ve wrestled with so many things to do with my calling and have had to face some tough realities about how I’ve walked out these ten years.

So this Sunday, we worshipped, gave out gifts, and I preached my heart out. At the midway point of my message at the second service I had turned around to read the scripture off the screen – so my back was to the congregation. I heard what sounded like someone coming into the sanctuary with a noisy stroller…and I just kept on reading this passage with all the passion I had. I turned around and there in front of me was my son Zac and his wife, Sara, with my daughter, Autumn with a food cart that had this huge cake on it. 

I was stunned, surprised, shocked, and utterly speechless. My brain went into high gear trying to figure out what was going on. I think I asked out loud what was going on, and from somewhere, I heard the words – ‘Just Because’. I looked at the cake and written were the words, “Happy 10th Anniversary”. I was at a loss for words and had no idea what to say or do.

And then the most surreal thing happened. Zac and Autumn took the mic and addressed everyone. In front of my congregation they honoured me for all the years that I worked away on my degree while working full time and being a dad. They hi-lighted my perseverance and how I never gave up, regardless of how difficult it was. How I have been an inspiration for them. My wife, April, then got up and shared with everyone the demands of pastoring and how she is proud of me for how I have handled the past ten years.

I was presented with letters and cards from children and adults, gifts, a photograph of April and me signed by everyone in the congregation, and a photo album of various photos (early married years, policing, and pastoring).

Yesterday was absolutely amazing for me. I serve an awesome group of people who passionately love Jesus…and love their pastor. Jesus is good to me, and he sure puts up with a lot from this guy. I’m so thankful it was a cake on a cart and not a pie in the face!

Oh yes…I did find out who was responsible for pulling this off without me catching so much as a whiff of what was happening. But that’s for another post…I promise!

Posted in Off the Wall, Right Thinking, What Really Counts | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

So You Wanna Speak on Behalf of God, Do You?

Posted on February 24, 2012 by

If you are a church leader (however that looks) then you are fully aware that while these may be the worst of times for the church in NA, you have to admit that they are also the best of times. One of the things that intrigues me are the many challenging issues that we are facing, or having to deal with. Better than all of that is the fact that agreement on these issues is hard to find within denominations.

I love it because the church is waking up to the fact that they do not really have a handle on just who this God is that we serve! In my personal faith journey over the last thirty years there have been two instances or thoughts – actually, make that three – that have reminded me again and again that I’m only scratching the surface of who God is.

The first time I was slapped upside the head to the reality that I know nothing of God was in my teens. I have this fascination of the cosmos. It all started with a trip to the McLauglin Planetarium in Toronto in my last year of high school. As I sat in this dark theatre gazing at the ceiling displaying the universe, I listened as the presenter told us that the distance of one light year is about 6 trillion miles. As he went on to explain that there are thousands of light years between us and other galaxies, my jaw fell open. And then when I heard him explain that the Andromeda Galaxy is 2.5 megalight-years from us (1 megalight-year = 1 million light years), my brain went into spasm. Years later I thought: “Is it possible that there are things of God I don’t have a clue about?” Duh.

The second instance occurred in my Basic (systematic) Theology course that I took in my first year of Bible college. I remember sitting in class and the discussion was on the doctrine of creation. The prof stated the various views that were out there, and I’m sure that the majority of us were expecting him to tell us what the obvious ‘correct’ belief was (God created the earth in seven actual 24 hour days). Instead he pointed out the pros and cons of the various views and reminded us that there were God-fearing avid followers of Jesus who believed views that differed from ours. And then he asked this question: “Can God still be God to you and take a billion years to complete his creation as we know it? Is he free to take as long as he wants in whatever he does, and still be God?”

My answer wasn’t, “Well of course he can.” Instead I had to ponder that and ask myself, “Is it really possible that certain specific beliefs that we ‘true believers’ hold may be flawed?” In an instant I was humbled and my list of ‘everything-that-I-know-is-true-of-God’ shrunk.

Oh yes, the other thing that was a reminder to me was again in Bible College studying Job. I was reading chapter 26 where Bildad and Job are having a discussion on the greatness of God and his creation, and in verse 11 Job states, “And these are but the outer fringe of his works; how faint the whisper we hear of him! Who then can understand the thunder of his power?” Job is right! My understanding of God is not even in the fringe – it’s the outer fringe!

There are times on a Sunday morning, just before I’m about to speak where I wonder: “Who am I to think that I can speak on behalf of God?” I dread the day when the church in North America hears this thunderous voice asking: “Who is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorant words?”  You can bet I’ll be running for cover.

Posted in Postmodern, Right Thinking, Theology Rethink | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

THE END OF THE WORLD IS…TODAY!

Posted on February 14, 2012 by

Is this a crazy winter or what! I so desperately wanted to use my snow blower that I bought last April that I have stooped to doing something that I would never normally do. I have pulled it out twice now, and both times we haven’t had more than 5cm of the white stuff on the ground. So there I am with my 27” Craftsman snow-eating machine chewing up a whiff of snow. I can’t imagine what my neighbours are thinking, but I don’t care. There is no way I’m going to purchase a snow blower and then not use it at all during the winter.

The weather has done a bit of a twist on our little planet. Places that don’t normally see the flakes – like Libya (go figure) are finding it on the ground.

 

 

Other places that for sure get the flakes are receiving some insane amounts. Valdez, Alaska has received…are you ready for this… twenty-eight feet so far (give or take a few inches)! And eastern Europe is getting blasted with snow and cold like they haven’t seen for ages! So what’s up??

I’m fine with considering that El Nino or La Nina, or the greenhouse effect from abusing our ozone layer, or the Eyjafjallajökull volcano (Iceland) are messing things up with our fine weather. I get that. However, I am running into folks (well meaning) who are attributing our screwy winter to the end of the age, Christ’s return, or the Mayan calendar.

It could be true…maybe…but I doubt it. I think there will be many more signs than that when Jesus plans his reentry into our world. But really, I’ve stopped trying to figure that out. I don’t play that game anymore.

When I was in my twentys, studying the end times was invigorating, especially when you believed that you were living in it. But now that I’ve crept over age fifty, the end of times doesn’t grip me the way it used to. Life is short and life is sweet and there are more important things to be focused on.

I have a bit of a different perspective on things now. The way I see it, everyday is an opportunity for the ‘global church’ to be the second coming of Christ. In our actions and words, we can bring heaven to earth. We can give our towns and cities a taste of the new heaven and the new earth.

I find myself telling people more and more not to concern themselves when Jesus is going to return. For many people on this earth, TODAY is going to be their end times…it really is…and that’s the truth!

Posted in Following Well, Right Thinking, What Really Counts | Tagged , , | 2 Comments